Sunday, August 28, 2011

Week One: Being a Befuddled Bison

The Truth

Great expectations toppled over my Space Bag-packed luggage, my most agonizing days of high school, and even the most irritating moments when my dear parents and I could no longer see eye to eye. “Howard!” I would excitedly holler when inquiring teachers or observers of my navy blue lanyard would ask to where was my heart devoted in the fall of 2011. College was going to be my time to make up for everything in high school that I never loved. Howard was to be my respite from home as well as a gateway to this new, beautiful city that I admired so desperately. I had fought to be here and was proud to tell others that I coming here. So why is it that not only a week in, I have questioned my choice in attending the Mecca that is Howard?

The overwhelming dose of homesickness that settled in just a few short days after my arrival, let alone the cold I so graciously caught, was initially attributed to my current lack of enthusiasm for college. I went home to Richmond for a day, only five days into my stay here, so that I could see my best friend off on her way to her own chosen university, hoping that a quick fix of home cooking and late night conversation with my girl would stop the sense of unfulfillment that was welding inside; however, this was simply not to be the case.

So here we are now, first week of classes completed, now wholly conscious of the work my education will require, and I am reflecting, “From where does the root of my weariness lounge?” I don’t have a hundred of them but the good friends I have at home are the type that even the luckiest man in the world would be grateful for. My family has not always held high standings in my book, but just the same I wouldn’t have them any other way. The relevance to the question at hand, you might ask? Struggle. Nothing that I have ever loved or even truly liked has come into my life without it. So until Howard can prove itself to me, it is just another university, despite its rich culture and history. In spite of how ba-hum-bug I may sound, I do hope that Howard meets my expectations. I hope it goes beyond anything I could dream in the realm of life lessons and enriching experiences. My point of significance is that I am beyond the infatuation stage.


I anticipate Freshman Seminar to act as a tool to “bridge the gap” so to speak, in regards to the large transition from high school to college as it acclimates me to my new environment with history and rewarding goals. The routine of the course will benefit me most greatly in my drive towards improving my time management skills. Among those listed, I feel as though the Abandonment and Dismemberment: “Something Torn and New” lecture will be one of my favorites. The impact of enslavement on society interests me, especially on the basis of the psychological impacts it creates on a people.

1 comment:

  1. "Great expectations;" seem apropos based on what you've written that follows that phrase. I'd also throw in "anticlimactic."

    You've probably already been told that you'll be fine, so I'll add my ditto.

    When I read of you hoping that Howard meets your expectations; of life lessons and enriching experiences, I think, "that's not enough; too general." I think we have to learn from some of America's immigrants, to seek a prize that is specific and tangible, and to work our butts off for it.

    What are Howard's expections of you? More important, what are your expectations of yourself?

    You're probably wondering how you got this response; saying, "I'm just homesick...give me a break!" lol

    You're capable of much, so hang in there. The road will smooth out soon, if it hasn't already done so. (I have yet to read your second post.)

    And last - it's okay to have a boring day. It's better to have a balanced, peaceful existence than to have extreme highs and lows. Both have the potential make much trouble for you. And we don't want that.

    toodles :)